Love is in the Air.....

In light of the most romantic day of the year, on this St. Valentine's Day, we are sharing our views on personal relationships at work. A really important topic and one we get asked about a lot at Holla HR.

Unfortunately, we also see lots of stories in the media that are reflective of things we have seen in the workplace time and time again. From people sneaking around having extramarital affairs to scandalous senior leaders potentially manipulating outcomes and abusing their power - it’s a tale as old as time. Therefore, it is crucial we take lessons from such situations, to ensure as employers, we have the appropriate infrastructure to deal with such scenarios presenting in the work environment.

How do employers manage relationships at work?

While being in a relationship with someone at work is not against the law (although it could be against policy), most workplaces take a pragmatic approach to people meeting at work and developing relationships. We want to create a workplace culture that encourages friendships and bonds. However, the infamous ‘romantic relationship’ is often the one that ties employers up.

The challenge a lot of employers face is the imbalance of power between the two individuals. One could be in a much more senior position or a line manager, and arguably could influence not only pay/reward/benefits, but also whether or not the other person remains in their employment long-term.

As an employer, what’s my best defence?

We would advise all employers adopt a ‘Personal Relationships at Work’ policy. The policy should be clear on what to do if people are in relationship (which extends to family members as well as the romantic type). The policy should cover how to declare the relationship, what happens where the individuals are in the same team, or even in the direct reporting line of someone they’re in relationship with, and how decisions will be taken when the employee’s performance and pay are up for discussion.

There is a no ‘one size fits all’ when it comes to managing people. However, having a policy will give you some clear parameters in which to work. It does not mean that relationships won’t happen (apparently, approximately 18% of people meet their partner at work!), what it does mean is that you are able to take reasonable, practical action, when someone declares they are in a relationship with a colleague.

What if we have a clear policy and it is breached?

In some circumstances, we do find that the relationship hasn’t been declared, which potentially presents as a breach of trust and confidence in employees and their integrity; if they could lie about their relationship, could they be trusted in other situations?

Of course, if they don’t declare it, both parties can be held accountable in respect of the policy and potentially subject to disciplinary action. But we would always advise a practical approach to judging this sensitive subject.

How does this all fit with the new duty to prevent sexual harassment?

It's a great question and at Holla HR we have been asked this a lot as we've been rolling out harassment training as a result of the new Worker Protection Act (2023), in recent months.

The situation we have been asked about most is where the relationship has soured. We know that just because people meet at work, it doesn't always create a long-lasting union, these things can break down. And where they do, you may find you have one disgruntled party who may not quite be finished with the relationship, meaning the after effects create inapproprate behaviour which could be perceived as harassment. Again, having clear policy and guidelines, as well as educating your workforce, is the best approach.

But at Holla HR we know people, are people and no two situations are the same, and therefore, you may wish to engage the services of a practical, hands-on, HR consultant that can guide you through this minefield.

Give us a shout today on info@hollahr.com for a FREE discovery call on how we can help your business.